“…to let things go…”

So how about the parents of the young leaders? They face huge challenges in these days; they face challenges they have never thought about they will actually face.

They have been parenting for 15 years, when things start to change dramatically. They recognise that their children are well defined young people and understand the WHAT in life:

– what to do, – what not to do, – what is right, – what is not right, – what are their choices, – what aren’t their choices… etc.

But parents of young leaders are seeing that the question is not necessarily anymore the WHAT, but the HOW. We are keen on supporting, strongly advising young people how exactly to do things. We understand when you try different ways, what might be a failure or what might turn out to be a success.

But why to prevent young leaders from failure, why to prevent them from disappointment? We all learn by practise.

Let them practise, urge to understand different ways of doing things, let them urge to make their own choices. Learn them what means responsibility, but learn them what means accountability. Learn them to stand behind their own idea, learn them to support each other and learn them to be free in their choices.

So if we let so much freedom for our children, then what is really left for the parents in terms of guidance?

I am sure you see my point, well my answer is

  1. Please learn “…to let things go…”.
  2. Learn to listen
  3. Become a leader
  4. Don’t try to create followers, try to create leaders
  5. Give your time
  6. Avoid judgement
  7. Don’t try so hard
  8. Enjoy the journey of your children
  9. See and understand their point
  10. No need to agree with them

Just agree with yourself!

Please join me on my blog and enjoy the Summer Series 2012 about Emotional Intelligence.

Make it light, make it fun!




Young Leaders

They are my inspiration, my inspiration because they are determined no matter what to achieve their goals in life. There is though one common thing they share, their own approach, their own way to do: it is not yet very clear.

Not necessarily because they don’t have an idea how to achieve what they want, rather they want to stay a good listener to their environment, just as they used to be  as children. They have the desire to listen and to be accepted by the ones supported them in childhood.

I believe it takes a while for all of us to let go this desire and really choose our own ways.

I recently met some young people and hosted them in my house. They all had a different goal in life and they all had a very different reason to stay for a period with me and my family:

  • some came for a good talk and share travel plans,
  • others committed to voluntary work in the neighbourhood or at the cross border country for a higher education institute or
  • just passed for some days on the way of an European experience tour.

They all leaders and they all have leadership qualities, some stronger in listening, others in organising or committment and overcome fear in loneliness or solving problems: on their ways they practise, adopt and develop their personalities.

With some, I know better we also engaged in long evening conversations; for me they were like inspiration talks and I was a committed listener to them.

For others I became  the private coach for some days, the one giving them the support to explore freely themselves and dream big: unlock their potentials to be able to recognise their own unlimited talent to go for what they really think the best for them in life.

We had tears and tears, the ones from recognition, the ones from happiness, the ones being in change and the ones to be grateful for our open and interesting talks.

Those tears and words we have not said are my inspiration for this summer series of emotional intelligence.

I am now determined to extend my audience and talk to both the younger generation and to the experienced leaders in my blog; they both are the energy of tomorrow: enthusiast and seeking for feedback, others experienced and seeking for inspiration.

I am on the mid way with my age group (born in 1974) and I somehow sence the needs of both groups.

For this post today I needed that inspiration, thank you all young leaders inspiring me!

Each of you deserves a belonging image for this summer, an image represents you in present or in future or at the moment we met.

Summer Series 2012: EI – I am passionate about people and …


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… about their emotions.

Our emotions our Emotional Qualities (EQ), mostly known as our Emotional Intelligence is key to our life: the key to find the way we want to fulfil our personal life or even our professional life. The key to lead a happy and successful life, independently from the personal definition of what ‘happiness‘ and ‘success’ means for any of us.


In the professional life, many researches has proved over the last recent years, that the IQ is responsable only for 20 percent for our success. The rest of the 80 percent is coming out from many other different factors. Within the long list of those factors, one of the main factor is our Emotional Intelligence. This is not something we are born with, this is something we can learn.

But just as learning process you can’t make it own to have Emotional Intelligence, this comes with a lot of practise and with lifelong learning.

What makes than still EQ so attractive and sometimes maybe so unattractive?

  1. On one hand EI is something fascinating and interesting to understand, discover, practise: journey to understand ourselves better, human beings and the ability to do something with our emotions.
  2. On the other hand it is a real challenge, focus and lifelong learning, practise all the time. Many times it comes with disappointment, and requires us to keep motivated.

…keep trying and doing our best to make our life more complete with Emotional Intelligence.

What makes me the most fascinating though about EI is; the fact that EI is contributing or making just that single difference between being successful or fail in leadership or performances.

In Summer Series 2012 of my Leadership Blog we will take time to deep and learn, experience, experiment and share thoughts around Emotional Intelligence.

Please stay with me, read and discuss, respond and share your thoughts.

See you around in

Summer Series 2012: EI


Your next step…in leadership

Your next step…

In our dynamic business environment we often just don’t get the time or make the time to do really something for ourselves, for our personal development. If you think this is true for you as well this year, than it is time that you do something about it.

Do today a quick assessment about one of the most important leadership competencies: about your emotional intelligence (EI).

Emotional Intelligence Leadership Competencies:

1. Self-awareness

  • my emotional self-awareness – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • my accurate self-assessment – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • my self-confidence – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed


  • my self-control – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • my transparency – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • my adaptability – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • my achievements standards – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • my initiative – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • my optimism – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed

3. Social-awareness

  • my empathy – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • my organisational awareness – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • my service to clients – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed

4. Relationship Management

  • my inspiration – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • my influence – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • developing others – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • change catalyst – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • conflict management – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed
  • teamwork and collaboration – satisfied with / acceptable / to be developed

To define your next step of personal development, select 3 out of the ‘acceptable’ and 3 out of the ‘to be developed’ categories.

Make sure your choices are aligned with your performance plan and follow the following guidelines to be successful in achieving your goal

  1. Educate yourself about the necessary theory of your goal
  2. Create a plan of action to put in to practise your new knowledge
  3. Ensure you have the right motivation to achieve your goal
  4. Practise is the key and it is part of livelong learning
  5. Look for a personal coach and follow a well defined coach program with ROI

Important Note: Emotional Intelligence is not something has born with us. You can learn and develop at any time in your life. More you practise, more you learn. There are 2 things you will need for: motivation and knowledge.

Related articles

Everything begins with leadership, with your leadership


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I often experience that new and young managers ask themselves: Why to choose leadership? What is good about leadership or most importantly what can I do with leadership?

Have you got these young, intelligent and ambitious colleagues and managers around you or in your own management team? That it is time to think about how to create from them leaders, they should not be your followers anymore.

Young professionals who are raising these questions to themselves, they have the motivation to change, to change to become a leader, they usually have the knowledge to become a leader.

For you the challenge is to show them HOW. Once you are able to show them the key directions of leadership, they will find the answers themselves whether it is worth being leader and practise leadership.

The key here is to find the right approach the best fitting leadership style to approach them. Speaking from experience two successful style you could choose from are: democratic or coaching style.

An other step to make is, to find out – Are they interested to achieve goals in their careers? obviously yes, but are they truly interested in not only WHAT they want to achieve but also HOW they want to achieve?

You would need to look for the HOW in those young professionals then you sure their ambitious goes beyond status, position, salary, hierarchy, materials.

True leaders go beyond all that, and that is what you will need to look for in your colleagues, the ones who can become leaders.

When you are done with this quick assessment, the real work will start to get involvement and engage with your ‘future leader’.

Key steps to starts are:

  • Show and express interest in their personality and understand, learn their own agenda, go beyond business as often as you can
  • Look for any signs about their emotional intelligence and reflect on that
  • Practise democratic or coaching style while you managing them
  • Consult with them, involve them in major problem solving cases
  • Talk about your business challenges, choices you need to make and reason you made your choices
  • Give space for them to reflect on, allow them to give feedback
  • Create a ‘business partnership/ownership’ relationship
  • Make them responsible and make them accountable
  • Ask them to become your back up and decision maker while you are on holiday
  • Walk them through the period and the expected questions and ask him/her to come with some possible solutions
  • Dont forget to give a list of 3 names, that he/she always can fall back for advise while you are away
  • Make clear you trust and believe
  • Crete a frame for evaluation, learning and let her/he to do the needed communications afterwards

Keep me posted on your ‘future leader project’, passionate about your progress

Good luck!

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Leadership on your agenda


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5 powerful tool for executive leaders to put leadership on your agenda,

to put leadership on THE  agenda:

1. Weekly Management meeting – 2 min leadership talk (real life business example)

2. Use leadership quotes monthly for your presentation (either to start with or to end with)

3. Share a short life example from your family happening and point out from the story something core about leadership (works well in coffee breaks or at business dinners)

4. Distribute leadership via email (a monthly ‘post update’ below your signature)

5. Put at least 1 core element of leadership in the performance review and performance plan of your management team members

You will book result if you do the above consequent, consistent and on an easy-going way. You become more conscious about your leadership, others they will listen more to your leadership. You will see that you start creating leaders.

Leaders create leaders, they don’t create followers.

Next step is for your to make leadership core.

Would you like more tips or

  • easy hands on tools to develop your leadership,
  • to create more leaders

then just email me: beatrix.gabulya@yourleadershipibc.com

See you soon… –  with more inspiring updates on executive leadership.

Don’t follow me, please join me.

Leaders don’t change others they change themselves


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My today topic about change is the book from Cheryl Richardson: Life Makeovers. It has become my inspiration tool for change and my bed time reading over the last years.

In this book you find and easy following concept of 52 Practical and Inspiring Ways to Improve Your Life One Week at a Time. It is a fantastic book if you are about to change something significant in your life, but also a practical and powerful tool just to get on with daily issues as well.

Beyond the weekly structure, you find a great guidance as well in the book; an easy way to actually make the step to change things:

  • A quote about the weekly topic to inspire you – to remember for
  • A personal note or story – you may associate with some of your personal experiences
  • A description how the change would look like – for you to see what it takes
  • Obstacles and Solution – plan that you can work out yourself
  • Take action challenge – change for better
  • Resources – to support you or just be their for your inspiration

This is a book for you, for every leader to use as a tool for life:

  • core
  • simple
  • fun

Just as I prefer to describe Leadership.

Personal note:

For my High School Graduation one of my teachers has given me a book from her personal library; Carl Jung – Extrovert vs. Introvert. I have received this book, because she thought that time, that the book somehow will make a difference in my life. Indeed it has made! The book became not only a treasure of my personal library but a true guidance to my personal development: to who I am today.

I am giving this book from Cheryl Richardson: Life Makeovers from my personal library to someone today who is representing a great potential and inspiration for many others in life. Leaders don’t change others they change themselves!

Have you ever thought about giving a book from your personal library as a gift to someone? Just do it, you can make a difference!

Credible data ROI and ROE attracks more clients for coaches


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It is one of the findings from the 2012 ICF Global Coaching Study, Executive Summary. I have received recently in my mailbox the 2012 ICF Global Coaching Study and it has surely some remarkable news for us that makes me very excited about Coaching Future and increasing my enthusiasm about Coaching as profession.


The study was commissioned in 2011 by the International Coach Federation and undertaken by PricewaterhouseCoopers. The Study was designed to be one of the most ambitious pieces of industry research ever conducted on the field of professional coaching.

The survey process

The survey was available in 9 languages online to respond by ICF member coaches and non ICF member coaches ww.

Survey outcomes

More than 12.000 valid responses and by that the widest range of survey ever from the Coaching Industry; from 117 countries.

Highlights (based on my personal selection)

  1. Global survey responses were received from all over the regions: NA, EMEA, APJ. Most were received from North America (41%) and Western Europe (28%).
  2. Based on the survey methodology (methodology details expected in couple of weeks in final report of ICF), estimated total number of coaches ww is 47.500, more than 33% of them located in NA and 37 % in Western Europe.
  3. There are certainly some obstacles and key issues the industry facing with, expressed by the responded coaches (% of responses): Untrained individuals (43%), Marketplace confusion (30%), Market saturation (9%), Under-pricing (5%), Over regulation (3%), Competing services (3%), Other (7%).
  4. In terms of Opportunities here are the following key elements based on the responded coaches (% of responses): Increased awareness of benefits (36%), Credible data ROI/ROE (28%), Improved General perception (14%), Increased demand (11%), Positive media (8%), Other (2%).

More details see  http://www.coachfederation.org/coachingstudy2012/.

10 tips what coaches can do (own notes to the outcome of the report):

1. Every time you work with a client, create a Coaching plan

2. Coaching plan should include the expected Return of Investment (ROI) and expected Return of Expectations (ROE)

3. Educate yourself about ROI and ROE

4. Monitor throughout Coaching Program the ROI and ROE

5. Come up with correction plan together with your client, in case ROI and ROE at risk

6. Execute correction plan and keep on monitoring ROI, ROE

7. Summarize to your client the ROI and ROE result

8. Keep record of your performance about ROI and ROE settings, result

9. Include in your Marketing Materials (blog, web, folder) that you work with ROI/ROE

10. Spread the term ROI and ROE to clients, potential clients, coaches and certainly to decision makers

Parenting is Leadership

I just think kids are so inspirational in our lives, and I am sure you agree with me!

They are our most honest feedback source and we are using those feedbacks on the most incredible ways every day. Whether we admit or not, we bring on all energy to do our most, to do parenting right.

But how come that still all our effort does not always deliver what we want. That does not surprise me personally.

Parents are constantly dropped in different situations, they constantly listen to their children and they constantly engage in conversations, regardless their interest, and finally parents need to deal with all kinds of emotions.

If we recall the series of blogs about Leadership History, we can immediately recognise the core of leadership: skills, values we apply, how we react in different situation, how we listen to our children, to recognise their emotions, and learn them what to do with their emotions.

Parents are also very good at adopting different leadership styles in different situations, just think about when you are democratic, coaching, or commanding, as three examples.

In these series of articles you will find inspiring stories, examples of parenting and how leadership is consciously or unconsciously is in our everyday family life. These series will give you tips, practises and inspiration to enjoy leadership, to enjoy children.

Note in 2 min: Summary Leadership History



This post meant to encourage you, to talk about leadership to everyone, everywhere.

Put on your Management Agenda as an example and show one slide to your team and talk maximum 2 minutes about it. It will be powerful and something which will stay with your team, forever!

Spread the word about leadership:

  • make it core
  • make it simple
  • make it fun 

What is Leadership?     Attributes – Behavior – Intelligence

Attributes: Skills, Knowledge, Personality, Motives, Values, Abilities: the WHAT

Behavior: response to a situation: the HOW

Intelligence: Emotional Intelligence (EI) vs. Intelligence Quotient (IQ)

Summary: WHAT – HOW – EI

Why Leadership?

Unlocks human potential and expand opportunities

What do I need to do to become a leader?

Motivation – Learning – Practise

How do I do it?

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